i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
