For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
