This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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