Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
