This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
