I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
