Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
