What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
