I want to stick my p in your. b.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
