You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
