I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
