hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
