i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
