Your face is a jimmy john
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
