he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Randomize
