What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
