their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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