A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
