That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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