It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
