I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We need to get me chipped asap
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
