i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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