How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
