i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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