There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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