she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
