So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
