So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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