Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
