i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
