I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
These tits shall not be calmed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
