I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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