he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
