I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
