woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
