I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Everything about him screamed your future.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
