I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
