YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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