Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Please don't give away my fajitas
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
