Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
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