I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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