Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
