hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
where does the pee come out of this thing
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
