What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
That's when you crack a 10am beer
We got so high we made milksteak
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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