I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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