i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
