ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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