found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i came on her dog
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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