I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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