I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
