And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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