no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
