just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize