I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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