Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
