Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize