Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
