btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
