I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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