Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
